I hate it when people don’t know the difference between your and you’re.

Kg

A preacher goes to Alaska to hunt. He has a moose tag, and within a day, he manages to find a very large bull moose with a 60” antler spread. He gets to within 40 yards of the moose and has him in his rifle sights, then suddenly he sees a flash of fur, and realizes a very large Brown bear is charging towards him. He drops his rifle, gets on his knees and begins to pray, “Dear Lord, please make this bear a Christian!”. The bear immediately stops in his tracks, puts his paws together, looks up into the sky, and begins to pray… “Dear Heavenly Father, please bless this meal for which we are about to receive”.

He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away, in fact.

I wanted to try being an exhibitionist, so I went into this restaurant and sat down at the table and when no one was looking I took off all of my clothes. Maybe prison wasn't a good place to start.

A college freshman was mowing lawns for a summer job. At a particular house, having a huge yard, he was allowed to use the shower after he had finished. On one occasion, as he entered the bathroom, he was shocked to see the lady of the house stark naked. “Haven’t you seen a naked woman before,” she asked. “Yes,” he replied, “but on the previous occasions, I was paying them.” “Well, we can fix that. Your choice, the usual $200, or we can go have fun in bed.” The boy hesitated, knowing he needed the money, but her luscious body was too much to resist. After they had finished, she asked, “Well, was I as good as any of those filthy prostitutes you fucked?” “Yeah, in fact, you were the best prostitute I ever had!”

Something I learned in heinzsight

We eventually broke it off.

They succeeded where others failed because they had Atilla.

The agent then said: What kind of joke is this

I told her that close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and laundry hampers. And this is when the fight began.